Men, particularly men who reside in New Haven, who believe in Movember (it’s a great cause, and it’s cold,) these men own record players and they are really excited about it. I do not know what classifies them as “artistic” other than their ownership of said record players, and they blog (glass houses now.) These men are my age, or a bit older, yet in my formative years being an artist was defined as an individual who is particularly skilled at a specific art i.e. painting, but here’s the kicker, then this individual must have gone to a respectable art college and met other respectable artists to whom now they network. Then this artist would have to accomplish something, like being published, and they have to do it again and again and again or else they would be described as, “was an artist in their 20’s but then stopped creating.”
Being an artist does not mean having a semi-critical view on the world, over using the word “haunt” in lieu of bar and wearing plaid. Please note these men are not hipsters because there is no neon involved. These men can be compared to an average European teen or more commonly known as Eurotrash, yet because this is America, these men are more industrious in their adamant demand that they do not wear suits, they were never part of a fraternity, are not “bros” and they only drink craft micro-brewed beer. They were born out of the culture of undeserved self congratulation. Sure, guy, you’re an artist because you read 5 books this year, own a bike and give half a re-posted shit about current issues and rare coffee with ethics. There is a fine line between pretension and discerning tastes and the men in New Haven walk it.
And these are the men. Yes, men. If you are closer to 35 than 25 you are a man, look in the mirror, this is the type of man you are.
They casually date women. It’s a numbers game and they are upping their chances. They talk to women via text all day every day for days (the most pathetic form of communication,) bring them out on 2-7 dates while speaking to them all day every day. Then they disappear.
No hard feelings. It was just like 5 dates right? What you thought we were getting married? Sex is fun, what are you from 1950?! Oh you’re not sexually liberated then! It didn’t mean anything, whats wrong with you?
Women are hysterical. They are crazy. They have hormones and timelines and baby dreams and they may be able to talk a good game about literature and have articulated views on politics but they menstruate. It is a well documented multicultural historical view of how men see women, and men tell me about past women, in this manner, and am I supposed to congratulate my male friends of their inherited long line misogynist thinking? Yeah friend, the girl seems real crazy because she texted you and called you in the period of 2 days after you had sex; she must be a fucking psycho thinking she can call someone she had sex with and who bought her dinner 5 times.
Women must be dead behind the eyes to casually date these men. Being dead behind the eyes puts you one step closer to intentionally killing a cat.
These men call themselves feminists. They take themselves seriously about it. I had one of these guys say to me, “its important to have male allies in the feminist cause.” Ally? Really? Seriously? They way these men run through women is a clearly indicative of how self important they all think they are. They word ally is the most condescending term anyone can ever self impose. Its as bad as telling someone in your own peer group that you’re proud of them- it linguistically delineates authority.
Let me say something, men who celebrate Movemeber, unless you work at Planned Parenthood, are a politician, gynecologist, volunteer in a domestic abuse shelter, or do anything altruistic whatsoever towards females you are not a feminist. You are just a man with a semi-decent moral code, and think semi-decent thoughts like, “I will never hit a women… I buy Save The Tatas shirts because they say tatas… I love my mom, sister AND grandma… women are smart and educated…I like women who have careers.”
Calling yourself something means you actually do something. Its like I tell my toddler all the time, “To be a good person you have to say and do good things. If you feel like a good person but consistently do and say bad things then you are a bad person.” Let me take it one step farther, not doing bad things, but not doing good things either, makes you a decent person. Go discuss it with a priest, your mom, or therapist if you have to. The world does not center around your beard, rather what effect and affect your beard has on other people.
Frankly, when I am in a room with a male friend like I was last weekend and there are 3 girls there that he has had some kind of relationship with in the past year it makes me think less of him. He clearly devalues women, they are not people to him anymore, rather commodities. If he cared about all these women he would not lead of all of them on and sleep with them and then tell me about it. It may not be a traditional meaning objectification, but it is being objectified. If someone, anyone, thinks of you as a means to satisfy their personal needs, then they are objectifying you. If someone texts (ewww when did men even stop being men?! where did their balls go to even call a woman) you all day and buys you dinner multiple times then they know by the end of date 2 whether they want to be friends with you or actually date you. If someone ends the non-relationship (congratulations now both of you have slept with everyone in your demographic in New Haven, remember Kids?) around date 5 to 7 then they used you as a talking body, or conquest or they just wanted to sleep with you. If its not set up slutty by both parties involved, then its manipulation, or as we like to call it “casually dating.”
They can call themselves feminists all day but they just like the sound of the word and to look at your face when they say it.
The fact of the matter is if a man is closer to 35 than 30, and has never been married or come close (and if he came close but did not marry something drastic must have happened to the fiance, like she became a meth addict, or died, or ran away with her high school boyfriend) there IS something wrong with him. He does not place enough value on an individual multitudinous women to take the time to get to know her because he is selfish and laden in a misogynist culture in which he self-congratulates on mere existence.
Also think about, if a guy is 33 and says his longest relationship was 6 months and lets not count anything that happened during college (college never counts ever) so he’s been single for 11 years. My male friends average 6 girls a year. That is 63 women this guy has most likely gave the run around to. Not even had sex with, whatever, I have dated people and I have had hook up friends because both parties wanted that, sexual liberation, whatever. It’s about how you treat people. Do you want to date someone who feels like 63 women were completely disposable? He bought 63 women dinner or drinks or mini golf or whatever and had mediocre small talk and learned how many siblings each of them had and their favorite bands then probably slept with them and never called again. Where does a woman’s self worth come into play? When will a woman delete all her dating websites and order a vibrator?